How you know when to have "The Talk" with your child. . .

*Disclaimer: Read the title. If this is going to bother you, don't read it. Continue at your own discretion. ;)

This morning when Korvin woke up, he was playing and talking to himself. So we decided before getting up, to have some "Mommy/Daddy time."

After a few minutes, Korvin started screaming for someone to come and get him. All of the sudden, the door (which Patrick had locked) opened.

Kadence: Korvin's awake!
Me (whispering): I thought you locked the door!
Patrick (whispering while pulling the blanket up further): I did! (loudly to Kadence) Go out and close the door. We know he's awake. We'll be there in a minute.

She went out. She closed the door. No further comments, which for her is unheard of.

We got up. Our conversation went something like this.
Patrick: She didn't say anything else. She never does that.
Me: It'll be fine. We were cuddling, and you were helping me stretch. She'll buy that.
Patrick: But she didn't say anything else. . .

Patrick went to get Korvin while I got dressed, brushed my teeth, and thought about it. We've never lied to her. We're not starting now. Technically we were cuddling. Technically, he was helping me stretch. But we were going to have to give her more than that. The problem was figuring out how much to tell her, and how to do it, since she has a tendency to bring things up repeatedly. . .and randomly tell other people things.

Her first comment when they all came back in verified that I was correct in thinking we needed to explain things to her on her level. As I was changing Korvin's diaper, she ran up and started a conversation.

Kadence: I thought you were going to have another baby!
Me: What??
Kadence: I thought you were going to have another baby!
Me: Why would you think that?
Kadence: Because I want a little sister!

Awesome. I figured she was either thinking:

A. We just made her a little sister, because on some level, she knew exactly what we were doing.

Or

B. She heard something that made her think we were having her a little sister right then, and she didn't want to miss it. 

I looked at Patrick, trying not to laugh.

Patrick: Kadence, did you unlock our door?
Kadence: Yes.
Patrick: You're not supposed to unlock our door.
Kadence: But Korvin was awake!
Patrick: We know, and we were going to go and get him in a minute. Mommy and Daddy just needed a little time to ourselves.
Kadence: But what were you doing?
Me: We were cuddling, and daddy was helping me stretch.
Kadence: But why was he on top of you?
Me: Sometimes that helps me stretch more. My back feels much better now.
Kadence: So he was squishing you?
Me: Something like that.


I was trying not to burst out laughing, while being eternally grateful that she didn't walk in at any other point.

Once Korvin's diaper had been changed, I figured we'd head into the other room, sit down, and finish this conversation. Patrick and I were, however, unable to communicate about how we were going to handle it. So I tried to ask him in pig latin what he wanted to do. He couldn't keep up, so I texted him. "Should we explain things now before she's old enough to be traumatized, and before she has negative feelings about sex?" 

He nodded. "I was figuring we'd just tell her. There's nothing wrong with it."

The conversation went something like this:
Patrick: Kadence, sometimes Mommies and Daddies need time to be alone with each other. It's perfectly fine.
Kadence (getting weepy): But why wasn't someone alone with me in MY bed?
Me (realizing this was about Daddy, since the kids don't see him much during the week): Daddy came upstairs last night when he got home and tucked you in.
Kadence: But I didn't see him!
Patrick: You were asleep. I kissed you, and I told you I loved you. You said you loved me too, but you were SOO tired.
Kadence (giggles): You did? Ok.
Me: Ok, now Kadence. Mommies and Daddies need time just by themselves without babies, or kids, or anyone else. It's very important. You remember how Mommy was having a bad day yesterday?
Kadence: Uh-huh!
Me: Mommy had a really bad day yesterday, and needed some Mommy/Daddy time with just Daddy to do things that Mommies and Daddies do before we got up. Do you understand?
Kadence: No. Why was he on top of you?
Patrick: There are things that Mommies and Daddies just do together. It's ok, and it's perfectly normal.
Me: When Mommy and Daddy's door is locked, it's because we need some Mommy/Daddy alone time to cuddle like Mommies and Daddies do. You're not to unlock our door. You can knock, and we'll answer you, and we'll come out in a few minutes. But you are not to unlock our door. Do you understand?
Kadence: (pause) Yes. (pause) Can we watch TV? 

That is how 5 year olds let you know that their curiosity has been satisfied, and you can now move on with your day. . .but since this particular 5 year old ruminates, and then brings things up over, and over, and over again, we as her parents are more likely to be traumatized over this little event than she is. . .which is why I'm now having some Jameson with my coffee, and we're discussing installing a deadbolt for our bedroom door. ;)

I'm not necessary looking forward to when we have to have the REAL talk with her about all of this, but I think we'll handle it just fine when we do have to.

366 Project: Week 52

Sunday (Day 365)

December 30, 2012

Once upon a time, there was a little boy. One morning, he peed so much, he filled the footies of his pajamas, and soaked his bed. It was so bad, he thought he was poopy and kept telling everyone. The mommy gave the little boy and his big sister a bubble bath while the daddy stripped sheets and started a load of laundry.

After the little boy was dried and dressed, he asked for an apple. So his mommy took him to get an apple out of the refrigerator. . .and when you give a little boy an apple, he'll decide to to pull on one of the shelves in the door. The shelf will then break, and when it breaks, everything that was on the shelf will break when it all hits the floor. The mommy grabbed the little boy and called for the daddy to come and get him.

After the daddy took the little boy out of the kitchen, he went back in to help the mommy. . .but forgot to close the gate to the kitchen. So, when they turned around, there was the little boy standing in a puddle of sticky peach schnapps, asking for his apple. His mommy took him and his apple to the other room, and got him cleaned up again while the daddy mopped the floor. . .3 times. (It's still sticky. . .the mommy and the daddy just stopped caring.)

The daddy, the little boy, and the big sister all played Dance Central on the Xbox while the mommy hopped around the sticky kitchen making herself a cup of coffee for the good of the family. The little boy got bored with the dancing, and decided to play with his Legos. For some reason, he also decided to pull on the side piece of the entertainment center, and when you pull just right on the side piece of the entertainment center, it comes off. Finally, the little boy had broken something that duck tape will fix. Ha. Ha. Ha.

The mommy sat down to drink her coffee. The little boy came over to ask for some. He always asks, even though the answer is always no. Someday, he thinks the answer will be yes, and he doesn't want to miss that day by not asking. He decided the mommy's half drunk coffee needed a little extra something, so he added an empty bottle of her eye drops to make it just right. When he realized that she didn't want the bottle in her coffee, he reached in and pulled it back out. She took it away, and cleaned him off again before he licked all the coffee off of himself. Then she finished her coffee. Yeah, that's right. She finished it.

TGIN (Thank God It's Naptime)
The End

Kadence refused to eat her food. Patrick told her she had no choice. Then he came and told me "She will be forcibly eaten." Well, thanks for the heads up babe. lmao

Monday (Day 366)

December 31, 2012

I got a Lofti drying rack for almost nothing on Ecomom.com during their Green Friday sale. Patrick finally had time to install it for me this weekend, so today I finally had a chance to use it. (insert happy dance) This is another one of those things you can file under "weird things that make Rachael happy."

Korvin is getting quite adept at using the iPhone. Now if only he could spell, he'd be quite a handy little assistant. As it is, he just keeps composing random emails like this. ;)

Kadence was feeding Korvin a snack today. She was using the snack to train him to do tricks. Hey, they were happy. Anyway, she suddenly gasped and said "Mom, I have to tell you something! If he eats, he'll have to poop again!" Hahahaha. . .yes, that's how it works.

Today marks the end of 2012. Tomorrow starts a whole new year. There's been a lot of both good, and bad that has happened this year. Most people would like to just remember the good, and forget the bad. However, experiences, both good and bad, shape who we are.

So I'm not going to forget. Not intentionally anyway. ;)

Here's to remembering how we got to be who we are, and here's to the opportunity of a brand new year to change what we don't like.

Happy New Year!

366 Project: Week 51

Sunday (Day 358)

December 23, 2012

Giorgio Armani + Batman = ?
;)

There was a guy on the adjoining escalator going up while we were going down. I was momentarily tempted to grab his arm as we passed each other and yell "Do you believe in fate? I think you're my soulmate!" Would have been slightly awkward while holding my husband's hand, but still would have been funny. ;)

Monday (Day 359)

December 24, 2012

Playing at the park! Had to get rid of some energy. He LOVES the slide.

Kadence was having a fit because Patrick opened a coke. She told him not to drink it, because it was bad for him, and it would hurt him. He didn't listen. So she came to me.
K: Mommy! Daddy's drinking high fructose corn syrup!!
P: Rachael, control your organic child.
He should have listened. . .the cokes expired a year ago. lol

P(gets up from the table): Can you watch the kids for a minute?
Me: Yeah. . .(while thinking "Well, I AM their mother. . .")
P: Ok. Kadence, do what mommy says, and don't touch your shoes.

So if I tell her to touch her shoes, what should she do? Hahaha

Tuesday (Day 360)

December 25, 2012

Everyone else needed coffee to wake up. . .candy cane in the stocking did it for Korvin. :) Merry Christmas!

For Christmas, I'd like a functioning brain. . .for both me, and Patrick. This time, I'm blaming Texas weather. It was hot when we left home. Now it's below freezing there, snowing, and our heat was turned off when we left. Have I mentioned how much I love our awesome neighbors? That's twice in one trip that Amber saved us. I see lots of cookies in her near future. . .lol

Wednesday (Day 361)

December 26, 2012

Home is just around the corner! Still have some snow too, which made Kadence happy.

I may have kept children quiet on the way home with lollipops and gummy bears. . .it's Uncle Peyton's fault for providing them. But they ARE organic. . .and the kids HAVE been awfully quiet. . .so I think he's everyone's favorite person right now. Lol

As we were unpacking the car, the kids were playing with some of their new toys. We heard Korvin screaming like his life was in danger, and went in to find him backed against the front door screaming, while Kadence was using the broom to push his new tumbling chuck dump truck away while it shook, and talked, and did what it does. Patrick thought she was taking it away from him, and had her go help him unpack some things. I heard Korvin screaming again, and found him hiding in the other room while the truck rolled around the floor doing it's thing. Without Kadence and her broom, no one was there to protect him from the scary toy. Poor little guy. Things aren't always what they seem. Kadence WAS taking his toy away from him, but it was because it was terrifying him, and she was protecting him. :)

 

Thursday (Day 362)

December 27, 2012

Korvin's first time playing in snow. He wasn't overly thrilled. He touched it before I put socks on his hands (couldn't find any of our mittens,) and it upset him. lol. . .Kadence wanted to make a snowman, but the snow wouldn't hold together for that, so she made snow angels instead.

Friday (Day 363)

December 28, 2012

Bang up parking job. . .I went to Abilene to help Sandra get settled after she got out of the hospital. Savannah and I went to the store to get some things for her, and I had to take a picture of this spectacular parking job at the hippie store (as Ruth calls it.)

Saturday (Day 364)

December 29, 2012

 Can't go to Abilene and not go by Ruth's house. . .especially since there's an incredible bundle of cuteness that resides there. This is my favorite baby "nephew's" sleeping booty. ;)

366 Project: Week 50

Sunday (Day 351)

December 16, 2012

Their new favorite toy. . .the box from KK's new dollhouse Nina and Papa got her for her birthday. They'll play with the dollhouse when they're finished playing with the box. Today it was a bed, a boat, and a spinning ride with Daddy.

At 9:30 Korvin was still asleep. I checked on him, and he appeared to still be alive. I left to go get a massage, and Patrick finally woke him up around 11. The weekend wore the poor little guy out.

Kadence asked me if her Merida doll needed to take her shoes off, since she was in the house.

"Mom! D-V-D spells DVD!!"

Korvin kept asking to go see Poppy while we were having dinner. We saw Poppy when we were in Abilene on Friday, and Korvin wants him to come visit. :)

Monday (Day 352)

December 17, 2012

This is how they were watching their show this morning. Still in the box. . .

Huh. . .this house was nearly clean a few days ago. Now it looks like a herd of reindeer ran through, and pooped toys everywhere whilst playing reindeer games with boxes and blankets. (Where did all these blankets come from???) I considered cleaning up. . .but I'm taking a bottle of sangria to the tub with me instead. Patrick, watch your step when you come in the door. . .there's reindeer poop everywhere. lol

Tuesday (Day 353)

December 18, 2012

Hair is overrated. I find that the less of it I have, the happier I am. One of these days, I'm gonna shave it all off so I can look like Ben. ;)

Did you know that Tinkerbell has a stinky butt? Either that, or he's calling her a stinky butt. This is his new favorite thing to say. Lol

Wednesday (Day 354)

December 19, 2012

While we were outside playing, Korvin picked a handful of grass for me. I'm assuming it's because there are no flowers to pick. . .but a gift of grass from a toddler is just a beautiful as a gift of flowers. He was quite please with himself, and therefore, so was I. ;)

When I read a recipe that calls for cool whip and/or instant pudding, I laugh. Also, when I read a recipe that calls for margarine, or "vegetable" oil, I automatically roll my eyes. The reasons are similar. If you know me well enough, it should be easy to figure out why. . .but here's a hint. #thingsyouwontfindinmykitchen #ever 

lol 

Thursday (Day 355)

December 20, 2012

Again, in the box. He appears to be feeding her blocks. Lol

I got most of the living area of the house cleaned and the floors swept and vacuumed. . .but then while I was in the kitchen doing dishes, reindeer came and pooped everywhere again. I don't know why I bothered. . .the world is ending soon anyway.

Friday (Day 356)

December 21, 2012

Korvin is packing for the zombie apocalypse. He wanted to be sure he had enough water.

I accepted a wine delivery, and the Fedex guy just asked if I was over 21. . .he didn't ask to see ID, because apparently when one is wearing pjs, no makeup, has plenty of grey hair, and a toddler trying to escape, one looks ones age. I'm slightly insulted. In the spirit of Christmas, he should have asked for ID, and then told me I looked 18. The nerve. . .anyway, now I have plenty of wine to take solace in. Thanks Ben! ;)

"Did you know that this Mary (on the cover of a book) has a blue cover on her head, and the REAL Mary has a red cover on her head?"

Why no Kadence, I didn't know that. . .

Kadence had to use the bathroom at Old Navy. (She calls it Old Natie.) After dinner, I told her to go to the bathroom before she took a bath. "I don't need to! I went at Uncle Natie's!" 

Saturday (Day 357)

December 22, 2012

 Anyone have any relatively tasteless vegetable oil they'd like to recommend for use with this recipe? Lmao Anyway, this is an awesome old cookbook my mother in law gave me. I'm gonna have some fun with this. :D

Me: Hey baby!
Korvin: Hey girl!
Who taught him that? Fess up!

As we were packing up to go down to Conroe for Christmas today, Patrick forgot my computer. After we got there and realized that, he then couldn't remember if it was in the house, or if he left it on the freezer in the garage. Seeing as how the temperature was going to be below freezing while we were gone, I had our neighbor Amber go over and check to make sure it wasn't in the garage. It wasn't. . .but she saved Patrick's life nonetheless. Thank God for neighbors!